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No More Cancer

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These are the words we heard beginning of January regarding my mom.  In mid-November we heard the opposite that she did have a cancerous tumour on her tongue. A surgery to remove it and reconstruct her tongue have left her with a positive recovery period and the gift of no more cancer. Still today I know that there are those that are battling this disease I am praying for. Treatments, medications, pain, fatigue. All of it looking pretty grim. Why does God allow these things? I don’t really know and I will not speak for Him. I do have a quote that rolls around my heart from time to time:  “ God permits what He hates to accomplish that which He loves”  Although this quote doesn’t fully answer all the questions of suffering I believe it helps us ask what God loves. What does God love? Hearts that trust Him deeply in pain, healing of His children in His time and His way, a longing for us to know Him in spite of our suffering—just as He suffered on the cross. Yes, God loves to accomplish go

Shake Off the Dust

 “Shake off the dust of apathy and sleep” This line in a prayer I listened to this morning hits me hard. There’s so much going on in the world that even if we don’t have an active role in anything we must pay attention to it. The wars in Ukraine, Russia, Gaza and Israel come in to my mind. I’ll admit that it’s easier and more comfortable to just listen to my own life’s needs than to have an ear to the bigger picture, but now is the time. It’s time to turn down our music, rise from our church pews and hear from God on these things. Wake up, Deanna! I say to myself. Wake up Christians and pray for the true justice of God to take over! Let there be ceasefire, let there be a shaking and a stirring towards the things of God’s heart. I mean I can’t force you to turn down the music and listen. I can’t force you or anyone to stop fighting, but I can shake the dust off my own heart. I believe as Christians we are called to this. Wake up, church and let’s stand for godly justice. It rolls like t

Advent: The Three Comings

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  Advent season is almost here. In the last years it has been helpful for my own formation to reflect on the three comings of God. His first being Jesus coming in flesh as a baby. Second, how He comes to us by His Spirit now in our lives and in the world and lastly when He will return as King reigning in justice and compassion—we will see Him face to face.   It is in these 3 comings that I rehear the promise of Emmanuel—God with us. I become more aware and long for His presence even now and feel again the groan with creation for a God who will come finally and make all things right. I haven’t always celebrated advent but for me taking time to reflect and journey through has made my celebration of Christmas deeper and more true. I wait with more anticipation and Hope than before. I understand waiting better and the moments of “joy to the world” seem fuller and richer. If you are done with the hustle and bustle and the stress of the Christmas season, perhaps God would invite you to an ad

Soon

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This summer I had the joy of visiting with friends that came from afar. I was excited! We arranged a rendezvous spot and a time to meet. Even though we set a time , I always leave room in my life for those unexpected delays. Construction, washroom breaks, slowness of my body are some of those unexpected things that I like to leave room for as much as I like to be prompt and on time. I waited with expectation until the time came when I could see my friends face to face!  This reminds me of how to live in the now and not yet of Jesus’ return. He definitely comes by His Spirit to be with us in the now, but one day —one day my friends He will come physically and we will see Him face to face. He will once for all set things right in His justice and holiness. Our God will dwell with us and us with Him. He wants and longs for us to be ready and waiting for Him. Like a bride waiting for her groom, like a friend waiting to see the face of another friend. Soon it will happen! I am drawn to rest

The Truth (even when it hurts)

  Some years ago I had a friend who I was interested in pursuing a deeper, dating relationship with. I’m not usually so forward with my feelings, but I knew he was a guy that hit many of the characteristics I had prayed for in a spouse. So what did I do? I prayed and prayed, I talked it over with a trusted friend and finally discerned that I would need to initiate a conversation with him that would clarify if he wanted that deeper relationship too.   I was told the truth. He couldn’t date me. We then had a brief awkward conversation about how I maybe had the wrong idea and how he had lead me on emotionally. He left the conversation promising to restore his brotherhood to me and then we left. Phew. Ouch! I cried and I cried, but to this day I am glad someone was able to be truthful enough with me even if it meant I’d be hurt.  To be honest I don’t usually want to have conversations that risk my comfort and my heart so much, but I’d rather live with what is true than live in a false way.

More Than These

  I’ve been sitting in the Scriptures of Jesus before His ascension and before Pentecost. Jesus was sitting on the shore after a fish breakfast. As I reflect on it I can’t get His question to Peter out of my heart. The question is   “Do you love me more than these…?”  Times in my life I remember this question pulling me back to a devoted love of God. It has pulled me away from my family becoming more, my friends becoming more and even my ministry becoming more to me than the love ofJesus Himself. It pulled me towards a deeper love of God, my family and ministry. It has put in me a desire for a deep alignment with heart of God and the things of His kingdom.It seems with this question Jesus was pulling Peter back into love alignment after his denials at the crucifixion and prepared him for his ministry as an apostle in which he would literally give his life for following Jesus. I’m not as uncomfortable with this question as I once was, but I can tell you it still hits me deeply. My more

Lent’s Meat

  My meat is to do the will of Him who sent me.” —Jesus It is the fourth week of Lent and I’m listening. Listening for the release from the bondage of religious discipline. Listening for the love that compels me to choose restraint over indulgence. I listen even in the moments when I break my fast in order to feast. Is this whole thing driven by “the shoulds” or guilt ? Is gratitude the thing that is going to drive my inner conversation with God. Why do I even do this?  Lent snuck up on me this year and I didn’t take too much time to be intentional about my fasting choice. I just made a quick decision and went for it and here we are in the middle. Is my fast transforming me more into the image of Christ? I wish I could measure the difference of what this is doing in me, but I can’t other than to notice difference in my digestive system and to recognize that I eat portions of food normally that are way too large!  Fasting is hard. Any type! To choose weakness so we can feast on the most