The Rhythms of His Heart

“My wheelchair is my monastery.” I read this in a book recently where the author quoted his Spiritual Director and I feel the truth of his statement. There are things that a life on wheels teaches you that you can never learn any way else. There is a closeness to God and intimacy birthed in suffering and disability that is so precious I barely even want to talk about it out loud. It is the place where the Scripture “He is near the broken- hearted “ is more than just words, but is embodied in the every ordinary day of my wheeling/crutch life. For me, this ol ‘ body and all of its needs has been a place where I’ve felt His Presence ...it’s a sanctuary...a worship space and a place of being known uniquely and knowing    God    even more. You won’t understand it fully ! You also need to know that there are days where I ask  God to heal me, days where the attack of the Enemy poke and accuse this place and days where the shame of it all could keep me a recluse for the rest of my days! Still

For too long, little girl ...   you’ve let them define you. For too long, little girl... you’ve found your worth in meeting their needs and whether or not they loved you. For too long,  little girl you’ve stayed silent, hiding and unaware of the sins and even the good gifts I want you to see, to heal and to nurture in your life. For too long , little girl  ... you’ve listened to the Enemy’s voice of shame that calls you weak, inadequate and unable. For too long , little gir l...  you have hated your body—detaching yourself from it to push down it’s limits & passions. You’ve  ignored  it’s pain and denied its unique , hope-for -redemption-like beauty.  For too long, little girl...   you’ve edited your emotions in order to be kind, flee conflict and keep the peace. For too long, little girl.. . you’ve built up others and cheered on their wants and dreams while yours were  unnamed, covered and diminished. For too long, little girl... you’ve peddled at everyo