The Rhythms of His Heart

Tonight there are these God-breathed Words going through my mind as I sit and write this post: My soul waits only upon God, for my expectation (my longing,hope) is from Him.   I breathe in and think about the events of last week...I think about my restless heart, my tired moments & the moments of joy. It has been a week since I sat in our staff meeting and prayed with excitement, but also with some fear of what is ahead of us in the New Year.  The Words "Be strong & courageous, fear not for I AM WITH YOU" filled my  lips and heart as we prayed for my brother/Executive Director as he announced to us that it is time for him to transition out of this role at YFC Portage in the coming year.  Initially, my heart sank & tears filled my eyes as again I face the thing the brings fear--CHANGE!   You see, this man is a man I hold in high honor...1 1/2 years ago he was JUST the man behind e-mails, and phone calls.  He now is a man that called out & believed in what God

It was late on a Thursday Night and I had just returned home after a day of High School Visits, coffee chats and small group.  I turned the corner after getting off the elevator and there on my doorknob was a fancy little card with a ribbon on it that said, "With God all things are possible!" I sat there for a minute and smiled as I thought one of my neighbors must have left it for me. I grabbed my keys unlocked my door and scootered in...something was different...the dirt and grit where I usually parked "Blue" was gone!!  I looked down and all my floors had been swept and mopped.  I just sat on my scooter for awhile and a lump formed in my throat as I looked around.  On my table were paper flowers with a verse card by them.  I walked in my kitchen and saw notes that said You are loved, cherished and amazing ....and by then tears began to start filling my eyes.  Even my fridge was totally cleaned and on a carton of sour milk (used for baking cause yes I am like my

Hey blog browsers!  Lately I have been incredibly encouraged by the following people that you will see in these two videos!  They are mighty warriors whose stories God has used on many occasions to bring joy and strength to my tired heart!  So if you have time like 1 hr or more...sit back with your favorite cup of warm tea, ( I recommend Chai Tea or a cup of some strong java), maybe a box of tissue (if you are like me) and ask yourself the question , " If God can use them what could HE do with me?" The first video is of Gianna Jessen & then the last two clips are of a preacher named David Ring.  I have never met these two people, but they are definitely some people who I would LOVE to have dinner with someday...even if I have to wait til Heaven.  HE IS ABLE!

Yesterday I got word that a dear man of God & one of my supporters went to heaven on Saturday.  He went to sleep only to open his eyes and see the face of Jesus.  So this blog will not be my usual stories about life with my Youth, or something God has been teaching me, but rather a tribute to a quiet, gentle white haired lover of Jesus who is now in heaven.  Though I am sad, I have hope that I will see him again. I Remember  . . . him pronouncing my name wrong There were many days I would walk in my church back home in New Glasgow and he would be there with the biggest smile ever saying, "Hi Dana!" Hi Dianne" " Hi Deana" & though he could not always get my name right there was never a time when I didn't feel welcome  in his home or did not feel the warm, kind heart behind that smile.  Pat knew that God knew his name and mine-- that is all that mattered. I Remember ...his singing I remember when they first started coming to our church and t

I sit looking at her and inwardly praying for God to take the conversation deep. I sit and listen to your favorite song as you scream the lyrics at the top of your lungs. I sit and  be interested in your video game, your next crush and all your family drama. I sit in my kitchen and figure out how to make your favorite Birthday treat and all the while there is that word going through my mind this week: "JEALOUS" I am not jealous of you, but for you.  Like Paul in 2 Corinthians 11:2, " I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy." This is the kind of jealous that burns straight from the heart of God into my heart.  God is jealous for my attention, my love, my heart & though I cannot perfectly exemplify this jealousy that is Him, I do know that He  has been and is stirring up in my heart a jealousy for the hearts of girls (youth) in Portage to be His.  I desire with every fiber of my being that they will turn to Him.  He has loved me with a love that fi

Today I felt like I was running!  How can you run, Dee, you may ask?  Well, let me tell you....even a crippled girl can feel like she's running sometimes.  I love, love that I get to visit schools, prepare talks, small groups, and programs and meet kids for a meal or coffee, but there are days when I feel like I run from the moment my feet hit the floor and I don't stop until my head hits the pillow (Can I get an "Amen!") On days like this, I often feel like David in I Samuel 21 when he was running from Saul. He went to the priest and asked for some bread & a weapon.  I love the picture here because it says that the priest gave him 'the bread of the Presence' and he gave the sword that he killed Goliath with.  If David would have stopped running from village to village for a second and realized what these things represented in his life (the bread representing Christ --the bread of God's presence to us & the sword reminding David that with God

I sat in the back of our YFC van laughing until my sides hurt! We were on our way back from a High School Girls Campout and our two summer staff gals were singing about this moose who liked to drink a lot of juice?!  Crazy I know, but this was just one of the many moments during the summer that brought a smile to my face!  You see , these two girls (pictured so beautifully above) prayed, laughed, planned and ran our programs for the summer!  I knew as I watched and worked with these ladies that God was working through them.  They not only were the hands and love of Jesus to the Youth of Portage this summer, but also to me!  So now, sweet summer girls staff of 2013...the summer is done, You worked your heart out and now look what God has done!  Thank you for being the sunshine in my life this summer!  Stay Strong and Live out His love in the hallsof Westpark & SBC. This guy is an exceptional leader and keeps us all on track!  He too was with us this summer for the 3rd year in

The last few days I needed to be alone...it is so hard  for me to admit that I have limits.  I was tired after my week of hanging out with Teens and kids and just needed to breathe a little before heading into this week of my crazy days at YFC , plus an added ministry of VBS in the evenings. I even gave up a really fun camping trip with a friend & all of it was not in vain!  Can ministry become an idol?  Can too much of a good thing become a bad thing?  These are all questions and things God continues to work out in my heart. I have come to realize that I need HIM more than social gatherings, text messages, and friends. I need to be still! I need to be that Jar who is broken at his feet....whose fragrance of worship fills the air. When I  just keep going without taking time at His feet the fragrance is not as sweet and doesn't go as far. I want to be broken  that I will gladly be spent and poured out!!  (Check out John 12:1-8 for the story of the woman and her alabastar jar)

 "Little girl, LIVE!" is a phrase that I heard a few weeks ago as I listened to a testimony of a woman who as a child was thrown down a well and left for dead. It was this phrase that her rescuer said as he lifted her from that place of death and darkness.  It is a phrase that beats in the heart of my Father God  for those who have been condemned to death.  It is phrase that I will never forget!   Jesus came to give eternal and full life...this was His mission and I think as He sees the girls that I have come to connect with here, He holds out His hands and constantly says "Little girl, Live!" You see, that day as I listened to this story...I thought of a the "little girl" in my world that had lost the power to live, feeling abandoned and alone, having no one...no father to love her and it was like God had spoken to my heart as I sat there with tears in my  heart & eyes and said, "Dee, pray that over her!" So I prayed.."Spirit, give Lif

I sit across the table from a sister who ministers to girls in the sex traffic industry. I laugh with a brother who uses ball hockey or  biking as his hook to serve and point guys to Jesus. I sit with an artist who uses her gifts to reach out to girls.  I pray and eat  with sisters who mentor teens. I clap with joy as an African brother sings and prays over us. I sit in amazement as  I chat with a director of a group home or a leader in their community & then I breathe and say "God, this IS my family...I am part of something a whole lot bigger than just YOUR work in Portage...I am a Daughter of A King who wants the whole world to come to Him.   My week of SI (Summer Institute) in Ontario was a HUGE encouragement to me and it is hard to put into words all that I learned/am learning and saw that week, but here it is in a nutshell: We are called to Build Together. One of the most powerful moments during my week at SI was the concert of prayer that we had on  the Sunday Ni

STRAIGHT HAIR LOOK CURLY HAIR Yesterday I finally did it...I got my hair cut after almost 2 years!  I know...big deal, right? After checking my hair in the mirror for (or any other pane of glass) for the thousandth time today I realized how vain I really can be.  I wonder how many compliments I will get...I wonder who will notice...I love my new hair...ach, these selfish thoughts crowd my mind when really I should be more concerned about the girl who walks in to my life today depressed about her relationship or how I could be preparing for my upcoming course, but NO I have to be all like "Mirror, Mirror on the wall...who's the fairest one of all? I almost feel guilty for posting the above pictures & yet I want this blog to be real.  I want you to know dear reader that I struggle with feeling beautiful...I want people to notice me....I want to know that I am valued. I complain about my "stove pipe" legs, my acne worn skin & the gap in my teeth! Then

I am overwhelmed & completely excited & humbled by what God is doing in Portage la Prairie!!  He is definitely working...and all I can say is "Yes, God!!!" He is so good!!!  Last Sunday I got to watch  a baptism ... hear & see some of what God is doing!  I cried tears of joy as I saw these ladies & men declare before God and their community of believers that they were following Jesus!  Their old life was dead and new life in Christ has begun....and let me just say that the baptism didn't save them...it doesn't guarantee their place in heaven and give them the right to stand before God, but it is an outward show that they have put their faith in Jesus Christ.  These brothers and sisters no longer find their identity in their hurt, struggles & pain...their identity is in Christ!  So if you have 47 minutesish...grab tissue, click on this link:  http://vimeo.com/63520694  and give a shout of praise...for what is dead has come to life in HIM!!!  Ach!!  

Ten months ago I met her & I could see her beauty right then.  A high school student with blonde hair and a joy and gentle, quiet spirit that I have come to love in her.  Every week, every time I see her she runs and gives a hug to this crazy, Nova Scotian, handicapped girl.  I squeeze her & I think, "God, she doesn't even know how much she has blessed ME!" Her heart to learn & grow deeper with Jesus is amazing, her drive to do her best in everything--from school to her job. And then about a month ago her heart became even more real to me...  We were studying the Book of John and I was sitting there watching a HUGE act of love & humility that Jesus shows us in Scripture (John 13)--the washing of feet.  Completely overwhelmed by this beautiful picture as I watched the older women & the younger women around me...having no clue as to what God had for me next! This beauty of a girl grabbed the basin of water and  the towel looked into my face and said,

This week I have looked into the faces of a few girls who from the outside look like they have it all together. Under the mascara, under those beautiful faces, under the long pants & long sleeved shirts/sweaters that they wear all the time are the scars.  Scars of taking a razor blade, or knife or other sharp things & releasing the pain. The pain that has them thinking they are useless, they are stupid, they are nothing! Thoughts of suicide, depression,  being angry at God & the people who have hurt them haunt them. And in hearing this my heart breaks, I breath & whisper in my spirit "God, help her! I give her to You--the One who can turn these scars into marks of beauty!" Then I look her straight in the eyes & say, You are NOT Nothing, You are NOT useless! You are NOT alone in this! God sees you, He hasn't forgotten you...and yeah life sucks sometimes, but you can't let it get you down! God & I will be here to fight this with you! Then I pray

Watched this Video again tonight & thinking of the many Youth that I see that struggle with people speaking to them words of hurt...that cut them down...that suck life right out of their hearts & faces.  Words DO hurt! Don't listen to lies... "they are wrong! Listen to TRUTH!  God created YOU...YOU are Beautiful & Do Have purpose!  Use your words wisely my friends especially in joking & sarcasm!  Your words can speak death or life!

Last Thursday I was scootering back from PCI (the High School) here in Portage to the YFC office.  I was enjoying my drive on 'Big Blue' singing as the wind blew through my hair! (haha sounds like a movie doesn't it?) I came to Tupper Street, then BAM....I got stuck in a rut.  The slush & snow had melted then hardened into a ginormous RUT & here I was stuck in between two sections of the sidewalk.  This was no movie...I was stuck!! I tried going forward my wheels spun , I tried going back and I was just spinning....no movement!!  I quickly took off my mitt to grab my cell phone, then a lady came out of the building I was in front of & said, "Can I help you?"  In that moment, all feelings of pride had to go...if I said "No, I can do it MYSELF!" then I probably would still be stuck!  I said "Yes, could you just give me a pull out of this huge rut I am in." She tried, but had to go get help...every worker in that office then came rushi

I have  had a  few conversations this week about being single & though this is a season in my life that I pray will not last forever, I can't help, but be happy.  So many of us (yes, I'll include myself too) dream about having the perfect guy...our Mr. Darcy, our Romeo, our Prince Charming.  We journal about it, chat with our friends about it, some of us even obsess about it!  Still, when the movies are over, the ink runs dry & we've been a bridesmaid or a guest at what seems like our thousandth wedding we need to stay focused!  Focused on our First Love!  Everything we desire in a husband God already freely give us:  Here's what He says to us: I say... I want to be loved. God says... “I have loved you with an everlasting love…” Jeremiah 31:3 I say... I want someone to adore me. God says... The King has brought me into his chambers to adore me. (Song 1:4) I say... I want someone to hold my hand. God says... “I will uphold you with My

"Jesus, bring ripples that turn into waves" 2013!!  Crazy!!  These last few weeks  in Nova Scotia have been different, but  great!  It has been a time to just be thankful, a time to rest, laugh & be with my family & friends.   A time to refocus, a time to realize that I have changed so much in the last 8 months of living life as a Prairie girl.  The Deanna who left the east coast in May is different than the Deanna now...not outwardly, but inwardly.  God has broken my heart, set a fire in my bones, brought me to my knees over & over,  given me a desire to be closer to Him than ever before & now I am ready to go back.  My heart knows without a doubt that there is no place I'd rather be. It is hard at times, but totally worth every ounce of my time & energy!!  There is joy in living life with Jesus & bringing others to Him! So what is it that keeps me going?  In 2013 what is the thing that burns deeply in my heart as I go back to YFC? It i