The Rhythms of His Heart

I've heard a picture of the Body of Christ a few times  and it hit my heart in a new way this week. Today as I sit and process it with the Lord I think there is more for me (and us) in this picture. This picture is of a cracked wall.  We as the family and the Body of Christ are in a battle against the Enemy of our souls.  The cracked wall in this picture is the defensive/offensive line that protects us against him and as we stand together there ain't no force of Hell that can get through...it's a beautiful picture. Then come in the cracks...what are they, why are they crumbling?  These cracks are the weak places, the vulnerable places, the struggling places that are places where the Enemy can come in...and he does and will if we allow him and fear him. What is our response as a living Body, a Family, a Force of Soldiers?  Do we suit up, pray up and hound heaven for the cracks to be filled, healed, redeemed, restored and for the darkness and demons to flee?!  Yes! Prayer i

(Written for YFC  Portage Banquet 2017) Just pretend I am looking at you in the eye as I read this.  Pretend that I've read the below transcript word for word and that I am really good at being creative with videography :) It's just me in real time on video...*eye-rollong smile* ----------------------------- “Let ME love you!” is the invitation that has been sung from Jesus and I have been hearing over myself these days and over the Youth of Portage.  You don’t have to hang around YFC long before you hear stories of distorted, false versions of what love is.  In our world, love is a feeling. Love can be superficial...a magic word that gets you your next fix, friend or food plate.  It is my huge honor as child of God, a woman, and Youth worker to speak truth and live Truth out  before these lies and misconceptions about Who love is, about how humans are reflections of it and how it works itself out in relationships, families and teenage lives. Many Youth who

Have you ever exceeded your limits? You push past the speed limit in driving, you eat one more cookie even though your stomach feels full, or you stay just a half hour more at work and ignore your headache or exhaustion because you just have to get work done!   If all that sounds familiar, it won’t be long before the pushing through catches up to you.  The police pull you over, eating habits become unhealthy and your work leaves you feeling burnt out and lifeless.  This summer began with me speaking out loud what I already knew in my soul and that was that I was going way beyond my limits!  Yes me!  The girl who tries to prove that she has no limits had to step back and say, “Enough!” I stepped out of my role of overseeing our summer students and was given the grace and freedom to use this summer as a recovery/rest time.  It has been a challenge to admit to myself (and others around me) that I have limits, but I am learning that it is a human thing.  We all need to realize and know ou

I was always the 'different' kid and I hated it!  Sometimes I just wish that I could walk through a mall, down a street or anywhere really and not get stared at. Somehow I missed the beauty of walking out differences. Why can't I be like everyone else?? This was in a physical way because of my disability and it also rings true for me in communicating and building relationships.    I am naturally  careful to blend in...go along with whatever everyone else is saying. I don't want to cause a stir. I run and hide from conflict and thought that if I disagree with something that there can no longer be conversation or even relationship.  I had to be compliant and cooperative and never express my opinion (especially if I knew it was different than everyone in the room) in order to keep peace.  This is not ok!!!!  This is not REAL community...this not REAL  relationship...this is not REAL love.  God has been moving in me and challenging me to risk and understand the differenc

 " When they heard the sound of  God  strolling in the garden in the evening breeze, the Man and his Wife hid in the trees of the garden, hid from  God. God  called to the Man: “Where are you?”   He said, “I heard you in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked. And I hid.”   God  said, “Who told you you were naked? Did you eat from that tree I told you not to eat from?” (Genesis 3:9-11) Back to the Garden ... Recently I was brought back to the Garden.  This scene of two humans who had messed up big time. They tried to hide their sin--their mistake--their brokenness.  They covered it up out of fear and shame, maybe even guilt.They saw themselves as they really were and hid.   The God who knew them so intimately came to to them in this state and just asked that big question:  “Who told you you were naked?"   Whose Voice have you been listening to?     We as humans were created to live in unhindered, uncovered relationship with God just like in the Garden

I have made it five years! Jesus has been so faithful and so good! Thank you, dear friends for your prayers and encouragement. This season of life has been more of an awareness of the Presence  of God and his work in me…a tearing down and a building up. A process of knowing that I'm not just  to be used of God, but to know God. A revealing of unhealthy patterns and an uncovering of things instead of ignoring things. A courage to speak out my dreams, thoughts, and hopes that the Lord has specifically put into my heart. The Deanna of May 2017 is not the same as before. She better understands her capacity and limits and by the grace and strength of her Jesus will keep going not because she feels like she has to keep up, but because she knows and wants to be faithful to the voice of her Good Shepherd. No more puppet on a string that does the dance that everyone needs her to, but a woman who is free to be herself...to be loved and be love to people around her. This journey of finding

He (Jesus) took the cup. The cup meant dying...it meant suffering...it meant choosing the Broken Way. It meant experiencing the rejection, mockery and misunderstanding of who He really was. In taking "the cup" He bled and saved us from sin, from death, from Hell forever. Once for all! There's more though because He didn't just save us from something...He saved us for something.  Did you know that in Jewish marriage customs a cup was extended to a bride as invitation for intimacy and communion of the deepest kind?! So the cup of suffering that Jesus took was an invitation and He drank it so that we could be invited in to a deep communion with Him! Suffering on the cross didn't mean JUST salvation, but it means love and communion of the Holiest kind! So this cup of suffering wasn't pain free or an easy fix, but it was a purposeful thing that says I can come and belong at the         King's table ...now and forever. Thoughts inspired by Scripture in Is

My YFC family teaches me! Here's what I  mean: Instagram post April 09/17 He's a Do-er I'm a Be-er! He gets energy by hitting up local basketball courts, soccer fields, hockey arenas and forests looking to hunt some wild animal like a bushman. I, however get energy by sitting down, hearing people's stories, writing and sipping hot beverages. He laughs, I cry! I like to plan...he likes to carry it out! Does this mean we have to change ourselves in order to work together? No not even, bro! It does mean knowing what we are good and not so good at. It does mean challenging each other to grow. It does mean not trying to make him like me. It means humbling ourselves and recognizing when we need each other.  When the task-oriented and the be-oriented learn how to work together and not against each other...it is a hard, but beautiful thing. And at the end of the day we honor each other and learn it's not about him or me...it's about our King! #Kingdomlearning

“ In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one;” Ephesians 6 When we think of Roman Soldiers and their shields we often think of heavy steal armor. One place I read said that Roman soldiers fought with wooden shields covered by a piece of leather. Before they would head out into battle they would soak their shields in water.  Why?  The enemy would fight them with flaming arrows. They lit the arrows on fire so that the wooden protective shields would burn and they would be able to get through the frontline of the soldiers linked shields.   The Romans would soak their wooden shield so as soon as it was hit by these flaming darts the fire would be extinguished and the enemy could not come against them. I wonder if in all the preparations of warfare if this one small act of soaking your shield in water was deemed unimportant?  I wonder if the big tough Roman soldiers as they obeyed this command for battle said

Fighting to be right or laying down my rights?  Living in the uncomfortable tension  of this is so hard most days! There is that feeling in all of us (me included) that feels like we need to be right...to prove that what we say, think or feel is right! Then I read Philippians 2 and think of Jesus! He laid aside His rights, His proving of Himself, His glories of Heaven and stepped in to a world that He didn't always agree with??!!! What?!! It blows my mind every time! He knew what to fight for and what to humble Himself in all for Peace!

It is part of my calling to use my voice to advocate for the broken, marginalized, left out Youth of Portage (and people in general).  I want to be Jesus to them.  I want to see the one who sits alone at the lunch table, the one who is different, the one who seems happy living for his next buzz at a party, the one who is afraid and lives in shame of showing how hurt he really is.  Yes, I want to do this...I want to be like Jesus, but how? STEP IN TO THEIR SPACE NO MATTER HOW SCARY, MESSY OR AWKWARD IT IS!  LISTEN & UNDERSTAND THEM AND CALL THEM TO KEEP GOING! (See Phil. 2:1-11) A few years ago a lady I know embodied this well.  I was at a ladies Christmas gathering and we were singing songs.  My dear friend who lead the singing asked the ladies to get up during the song and dance/do the actions as we were instructed. I sat there enjoying...or at least telling myself to enjoy watching the ladies.  The sting of my palsy -worn body bites hard in moments like this, but before I cou

This week a Youth came into my office and every time I see him I am reminded that God is moving. He is at work and there is hope in the middle of the sin-stained stories of the Youth of Portage la Prairie! Over the last few years I have watched this Youth begin his walk with Jesus, get baptized and now he is mentoring younger kids here at YFC and his church. He has hopes to be in Youth Ministry one day!   The other day I listened to him bravely share how God speaks to him about his own story being used to make an impact in God's Kingdom. On his arms are marks of his past--marks of pain where his parents’ divorce, self-hatred/self-harm and depression had come to his skin's surface.  Conversation was really honest that day.  He looked at me and said, "Sometimes I put my hand over them (the scars) and ask God to take them away! I haven't been healed of them, but every time I do this God always says the same thing t