"I want the leeks & onions, God!"

If you have been around my family when we remember the old silly things I am known for, you would quickly find out that as a wee girl I  would eat onions like an apple!. I know crazy, right?!  While visiting my neighbor one day I crawled right up on her counter and ate her onions!!!  Don't ask me why I did it...and although I like onions still to this day...I cannot and will not repeat that embarrassing moment. This determined pursuit of the onions on the counter has been brought to mind lately.

I have been going through a season of complaint, self-pity and wanting life to be easy.  I am not ashamed to admit it...neither am I proud of it, but I am thankful that His grace is sufficient and there are definite ways that the Spirit has been drawing me to lift up my eyes & refocus.  One of those ways has been my reading through the wilderness experiences of God's people-- Israel.  I spent a few days going over Numbers 11 as I saw myself in this chapter in so many ways. God's people wanted the easy life...when times got tough they wanted to turn back. Even Moses their leader went through times of self-doubt and said his ministry was too heavy for him.
They complained and wanted the leeks and onions...they wanted to turn back instead of being satisfied with what God had given them.  This made me ask myself, "How many times have you wanted to trade in what God had given you(blessing, peace, His heart) for the leeks and onions (a life of ease, convenience, living for the world)?"  Here is what I wrote straight from my journal. It reads as if God is speaking exactly what He sees in my heart.

God says:

I have given you enough and yet you say you want the leeks and onions. I formed you with My hands--a picture of what was in My heart from all of eternity and still you cry out, "I want leeks and onions."  I breathe the breath of your very life into your lungs and yet you say, "I want leeks and onions!" I gave My Son, My only Son who shed His blood and rose again to redeem you and yet you cry out, "I want the leeks and onions!" I see your pain, weakness & struggle constantly reminding you I AM there in the middle of it and still you cry out for leeks and onions.  I tell you, "You are Mine!" and you can't earn My love, but in Me you belong and still I hear your heart say, "I want the leeks and onions!" I have given you the Word of My Promises that show you how to walk in obedience & find blessing and joy and yet I hear that whisper, "I want the leeks and onions." I show you everyday that I want your whole heart, giving you all that you need to live a life of godliness and filled with Jesus and yet I hear the shout of the Israelites coming from you, Dee. "I want the leeks and onions.

 It is true!   I  often want the easy life (life of leeks and onions), but yet following Jesus means I get to partake in His sufferings, to experience trials, wilderness seasons, but oh the joy when I choose to feast on the manna the Bread of Life and sit at His table and find nourishment. This Bread (Jesus) satisfies way more than silly leeks and onions, wouldn't you agree?
I pray the cry of my heart for Jesus--the Bread of life will be stronger than my cry for the leeks and onions! 

NO TURNING BACK!


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