"Lord, Show Me How To Be An Introvert Leader!"

We had just come from a staff meeting!  Nothing too out of the ordinary came up...often the same questions, not always enough answers! " How are we doing?" "What can we do to engage the Youth of Portage in our Drop In?"  We tossed around ideas, talked of making use of our school visits a time where we try and reach the masses and increase our numbers in our programs.  This is a healthy conversation...with valid questions and I left feeling challenged.  I also left feeling discouraged.  Why?  I know what I am not.  But before you think me too negative...keep reading!  The Lord has been painfully stripping me...ah but beautifully showing me my uniqueness! No longer trying to be a "keep up with everyone" leader, but a more of a "embrace your uniqueness and specific role" leader.     I am Deanna!  I am quiet, contemplative, and sensitive.  I love spending time with people (especially  in one-on-one heart sharing conversation), I need my alone time, love to laugh and I'm ok with it all on most days.  Still after meetings like the one described I come away  feeling like I have to be this super vivacious Youth worker..high energy, loud voice...big activities!  You know, the stereotypical kind.  The more out there you are..the more you attract kids...which means numbers, success...fruit!  But this is not ME!  I left the meeting and took time to sit with My Shepherd before heading off to my school visit after the meeting.  I sat there...prayed  and asked the question, "How do I even do this?"  Lord, show me how to be an introvert leader...show me my place in "reaching the masses".  I was done trying to be the dynamic Dee, I was done trying to be everyone...or make everyone do things like me.  I needed the Lord to show me how to be ok being the leader...being the person He created me to be.

I scootered off to the school...with this question on my heart.  I walked into the school and in the school canteen at lunch He showed me how I can  lead by just being Dee.  Two girls...in two separate conversations didn't need a high energy program or an outgoing person that day.  They needed a listener...someone to pray in the middle of lunch crowd for them...someone who looked them in the face and reminded them that they are seen!  YEP, JESUS USED ME to reach the one(s) in the masses that day!  He used this school visit to affirm who I was and how I engage people...it was like He said, "It's ok...you don't have to be them...just be Dee!"  He is so good!  I can be a leader and be an INTROVERT!!!!  Jesus showed me that we can be a part of reaching the crowd!!!

 And just so you know my heart, (Que High School Musical Song in your head: "We're all in this together.." ) 😄  I need to give a high five to those who lead from the high energy, extroverted place!  You just gotta know that I need you! I need your energy and your passion to keep me going.  I will no longer expect you to be me...I will no longer try and be you, but I want to work with you!  I am challenged by you and will try by God's grace to celebrate you and let you be you!  LET THE INTROVERTS & EXTROVERTS UNITE!  Let's lead complementing, challenging and celebrating each other in all of our uniqueness.  Our King needs us in building His Kingdom...we all have a place at His table and in His work...and this my friends is a hard but freeing lesson to live!