"...Have A Nice Life!"

The most beautiful and the most messy part of this crazy heart these days is that I hate...hate..hate saying goodbye.   When I stepped into this transition stage of my life of closing a door and opening a new one, I knew there were going to be people that I've come to love deeply that I would have to leave.  It is painful!  It is another place in my heart that I don't have control over!   Still with open hands I am choosing to submit to the process of pain and new things He is working in me.    Before it was clear that I was leaving YFC Portage I was talking to some staff at Lunch Drop In about how much I loathe the finality of goodbyes.   Each day when some of us left the doors of our work we would never say "Goodbye!" Instead we would awkwardly laugh and quote part of a  famous line from the movie Elf  "...Have a Nice Life!" It became our tag line of departure. 😏

Entering the hard moments of Goodbyes...

This threshold space that I am living in also teaches me of the 'guts' it takes to enter in to the feeling of those "Have a Nice Life!"/goodbye moments.  Acknowledging that leaving and goodbyes are a part of life is a healthy, hard thing. It's ok to take time to let go yet live in the tension of not clinging to things, people or places.  IT WILL BE MESSY!!    I think back to days of visiting my Grandad when I think about this.  He was a man who lived 30+ years alone as a widower in a little apartment in Halifax.  When I was growing up, we lived in a different province than him.  We LOVED family vacations when we would visit. Grandad was a man who celebrated moments he had with family and friends and he was also a man that stepped into leaving/goodbyes even if it was hard.  How do I know this?  Often when all of the treats he gave us were eaten, the toys he held in his closet were put away and it was time to for my family to go out the door and  squish into the old Aerostar van again, he would be with us!  When most would just say goodbye from their apartment and send us on our way, Grandad did not!  He slipped off his slippers, put on his shoes and walked us down the stairs and out to the parking lot.  He gave us hugs and kisses and waited for the van to pull out of the parking lot standing there waving. I know my Grandad's days were lonely and yet he was a man who probably understood how to say goodbye in an  ok way. He didn't ignore that our visits would end, but he walked with us even if there were tears, so many pictures, and a bazillion hugs in the process.

Jesus gets it . . .

This journey has me understanding endings, loss and so longs in a hard, beautiful way!  Jesus gets this too, friends! In this season, the Scripture that I've been sitting in a bit is John 17.  This was Jesus' High Priestly Prayer before leaving his disciples!  When I opened this my heart took courage in the fact that Jesus knew what it meant to leave His deeply loved friends behind in order to accomplish what His Father was leading Him into.  He left praying over them for protection, love and unity as well as a confidence in knowing that He completed the work that His Father gave Him to do. HE understood that the lives given to Him to minister to were gifts and knew that He didn't own them.  The Father gave them to Him---they were His! The days leading up to the end of my YFC Portage chapter were full of days of reminding myself that He gets what it means to feel the pain,trust and surrender of saying "goodbye." He also understands the beauty of what it means to saying, "Yes!" to what is ahead knowing He was accomplishing His Father's plan. I too desire a heart that knows these things.

 Let it be in me, Jesus!  Make my heart like Yours!

As I say goodbye to what was and move on to the new thing, I (like Jesus and my Grandad) will ask for grace to not ignore the hard things of letting go. I  will walk in step with my Father through the grief and joy of letting go. I am  holding on  to His promise of the beautiful things that lie ahead.  This I know will not be the last of transitions in my life, but with tears, gratefulness, and trust I live in the space of knowing  He is with me!

What is He asking you to let go of?  Are you ignoring the pain of a loss or a goodbye?  Let Him be with you, friend!  It will hurt and will not be the easiest thing, but know He gets it!!

"...Have a nice life!"