Poutine Parties, Wet Floors & Desire

I was hosting a few friends in my home on a Friday and caught a ride with a friend to the grocery store to pick up some things. My menu for the evening was pretty simple. I had been given a huge bag of fries for free so I thought we would go real healthy and easy and just have poutine 😉 Fries, gravy, drinks and cookies for dessert were on my mental list as we went in the store.  Real classy I know, but it's what I could offer and kept reminding myself that it would all be ok and was enough.  I grabbed all my stuff, put it in my friend's cart and she walked ahead of me as I hobbled along on my crutches.  I was pretty focused on getting to the cashier and was looking straight ahead.  I was walking...walking...walking and then BAAAAM! I was on the floor!  I had failed to see a "Wet Floor" sign and slipped on a section of freshly mopped floor!!!  The sign went flying and I just sat there in a moment of shock, laughter and embarrassment!   It happened so fast!  My body is usually shaking from the impact of these moments and  has to come down off an adrenaline rush. I  knew I wasn't hurt and sat there laughing trying to regain my "I'm just a normal shopper" composure.  My friend and a few other friendly faces helped me up once I could stop laughing and my body could regain it's calm. It wasn't the first time I'd fallen...it won't be the last.  Usually when I fall and people are around their immediate, sympathetic response is to dive right in, grab every part of my body and pull me up.  Sometimes that works, but most times my body is so in shock and shaking that I need a minute to just stay on the ground to calm down...and/or in my case often stop laughing :) On that Friday in the grocery store...through my laughter and shock I was able to articulate my need for my friend and the people around me to give me time to sit there instead of just plowing through and picking up my body without giving it time to breathe.



As I have been reading and praying through a book called, "Sacred Rhythms" the author has called me to sit in the story of Mark 10:46-52.  There is way more in this story than I could have space to write, but my heart was drawn to share how Jesus called this man to express his longing and desire before He healed him.  I won't deny the miraculous teaching in this story that I've heard since my Sunday School days...and yet for me as I sit here I feel lead to share how it calls me to tell my God about my wants and desires knowing He cares.

"46 And they came to Jericho. And as he was leaving Jericho with his disciples and a great crowd, Bartimaeus, a blind beggar, the son of Timaeus, was sitting by the roadside. 47 And when he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to cry out and say, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” 48 And many rebuked him, telling him to be silent. But he cried out all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!” 49 And Jesus stopped and said, “Call him.” And they called the blind man, saying to him, “Take heart. Get up; he is calling you.” 50 And throwing off his cloak, he sprang up and came to Jesus. 51 And Jesus said to him, “What do you want me to do for you?” And the blind man said to him, “Rabbi, let me recover my sight.” 52 And Jesus said to him, “Go your way; your faith has made you well.” And immediately he recovered his sight and followed him on the way."

.    This story and my trip to the grocery store definitely holds some beautiful connections for me and I hope as you read it the connections became clear, but also you hear something unique to your own heart as you read and begin asking God to awaken your desires and longings before Him.  Freedom is found there even if your desires feel dark, sinful or fleshly He can hear them and take them to the place of holy and good again.

 Jesus goes against the crowds desire for this man to go away and be silent.  He sees him in the crowd and calls him to come.  He notices his cry and plea for help as a sinner begging for mercy.  He sees his need and his desire.  The next part  has hit me in the heart and I am more in love with Jesus and tremble with the things in me that I've have failed to trust Him with for so many years.

Jesus' question  “What do you want me to do for you?” is so powerful.  Why does Jesus need to ask him this?  Isn't He the Omniscient, Creator of the world?  Couldn't He in His power over the man assume his need, work His power and do the miracle without even asking this question?? I am struck by the relational, compassionate, gentleman-like quality of my Savior in this moment.  He never assumed that healing was what the man wanted...and He never lorded His healing power over this man, but gave him freedom to express his desire.  He looked this  beggar, outcast of a man square in the face..in the middle of a crowd...and gave him back his freedom to desire and long for what he needed.  In that moment, Jesus gave this man human dignity where maybe a lot of his life people took ownership of his needs, his days and failed to ask him, "What do you need?"
Jesus wanted this man to open his own mouth as He looked into His face speak out dreams and desire.  When the blind man did this it showed that he trusted Jesus with his needs...and desires.  He knew Jesus enough to know that the inner needs of his heart and even the outward physical needs mattered and would be heard.  There was no agenda, no force of power, no manipulation by Jesus...just  a true hearing of a man who longed for what he needed.

Let's go back to my fall at  the grocery store...

When I was on the floor getting over my fall...I was able to articulate to my kind friends what I needed.  They could have assumed that what I needed was to be pulled right up on my feet right then and there which is the logical impulse of seeing someone who has fallen.    Instead they looked me in the face,  listened to my desire to just sit and wait til my body got over its shake and in the end it was better than trying to walk off my shaky adrenaline rush on foot!

Friends, let me be real in confessing that this idea of expressing longing and desire to Jesus may bring up some fear.  I get it and am learning how, yet as I sit with His question “What do you want me to do for you?” I believe He wants us to tell Him what we need and desire.  He wants to hear us ask Him for things.  He will hear...and doesn't shame us, is not too busy and never thinks it is selfish to lay our wants down.  

And please...

People of God,  may we see people like Jesus. Let us ask for His heart that doesn't pressure, manipulate or make assumptions on what the faces need around us! May we be people that even when we go to pray, serve, lead or even help in a grocery store that  we are the ones who give freedom to voices who are often silenced! Let us be the ones that give that face in front of us the time and space to express what they need and want.  This is where miracles lie...in the physical and in the soul.

Let us want, desire, and long for things knowing we were created to ask and need from a Person who sees, knows and loves it when we ask!  We are all a needy people...with a Jesus who can meet our need and longs for us to ask...and that my friends is LOVE!