Spilled Coffee & Unintentional Hurts

It was the morning of my Grandad’s Funeral.  We had an hour and a half drive to get to the city where his funeral was held.  My parent’s house was full of all the siblings, spouses and their kids.  The grief and tension was thick in the air and I had got myself dressed and ready around all the extra bodies in the house!  My big brother and his wife showed up to join our travelling convoy of family and I was dressed in my funeral attire when they arrived!   I was sitting drinking my coffee all ready to take my place in a vehicle when the time came.  I was TIRED!  Grief as well as unexpected travel had taken its toll on me and I was not really looking forward to the hours ahead, but as I sat sipping my coffee I was pretty relaxed!  I raised the mug to take a sip and just when I got close my big brother snuck up behind me grabbed my shoulder and yelled “DEAAAANNA!” really loud!  I wasn’t expecting it and just like in our childhood days I jumped right off the chair.  Coffee splashed all over my skirt and I was not impressed.  I felt heat rush to my face and then I began to sob!  Yes, my 20 something year old self sat there crying and my kind brother felt so bad.   In his moment of fun, he had hurt me and made me mad.  He quickly grabbed a towel and began wiping me off and said, “I’m Sorry, Dee!” It’s not like he wanted to intentionally make me angry or embarrass me, but he did.  It’s not like he intended for tears to roll down my face or even for my warm cup of coffee to splatter my skirt, but it did!  I was angry, hurt and upset and all my brother wanted to do was have some fun with his sister, but it was NOT fun…not at all. 

Today I have no hard feelings toward my brother about the whole thing and still love him dearly and if I was really honest  about it  today  the above scene makes me laugh a little J. This week though this scene came back to me after hearing a dear friend talk about unintentional hurt.  I also had been praying through some wounded places in my own heart.  Some hurts in my life have happened because of my own sin and mistakes.  The hurt in me that has been uncovered too, though are those hurts that happen unintentionally.  On the day my Brother spilled the coffee on me it wasn’t his intention to do it, still it happened and he acknowledged it and made it right.  Hurt happens sometimes without us even wanting it to happen or even being aware of it. There have been many layers of clarity to the wounds I carry, but one of the most freeing things  lately  has been to express hurt before my God and have Him give me  understanding  on whether the hurt was a deliberate wrong or a hurt that happened unintentionally.  Still regardless of how or why the hurt happened…it is still HURT!  It’s not fun to deal with and if you’re like me you may want to cover and hold the hurt hoping it will go away.  I am finding freedom in realizing that my Healer wants me to show Him where it hurts…to say it, or even cry it out loud so that He can heal.  Sometimes when we hurt it is hard to see things clearly.  It is hard not to blame.  It is hard to see beyond the pain. 

This morning the Spirit of God met me in the silence of my home and reminded me that hurt, pain and brokenness was never His intention for me. His purpose for us, friend was never just to be hurt over and over again.  His heart for us is just like my sweet brother who grabbed that towel on that day and after I let out all my hurt,  let Him see it, knowing He WILL wipe every tear from my eye, every ‘coffee stain  of shame’  moment and will heal the hurt. He doesn’t negate your hurt…He will see it clearly and make us new. Will we let Him tell us about our hurt?  It will be hard, scary and oh so freeing and so worth it!

Hosea 6:1 “Come, let us return to the Lord for he has torn us, that He may heal us; He has struck us down, and he will bind us up.”