I think I CAN...I KNOW I CAN'T

“I think I can...I think I can...I think I can..” 

I heard this little mantra many times as my stubborn, little girl self would NOT want to complete her hour of physical therapy each week. My tough-love, patient -filled, Newfie -born physical therapist would spend the hour pushing me along the hospital hallway with it. My family and friends even picked it up and would use it during home exercises or any time my stubborn will told me “I can’t do it!” or that I should give up! I don’t fault them at all and am grateful for the independence and 'sticktoitedness' this developed in me. If they had stood by and watched me give up then I know I would not be where I am today. There have been moments in my life where I have  boldly declared and reminded myself  to focus on the things I CAN and not what I CAN’T! 

I still believe this at the heart of who I am and have come to believe that there is a freedom too that comes from acknowledging what I CAN’T do. There is no human that can do what ONLY God can do. No amount of positive thinking, strengths, books or education can get us out of certain ways we are limited as human beings. I think our Creator made us to be this way. It is a shot to our pride to recognize we aren’t God and we can’t on our own conjure up our own 'enoughness' for life and it’s problems.

It is a gut wrenching thought and one that takes your breath away when you really face the reality of your limits and can’ts and learn to depend on a God that is stronger and helps you in them. Even more beautiful it is  to realize we have a God who willingly chose to come and dwell in a limited human body in the Person of Jesus! That thought blows me away every time!
I can’t remove the FAS so a boy can live out his dream of having a job. I can’t take the cancer away and allow a man 40 more years to spend with his new grand baby. I can’t stop the suicidal thoughts for someone who thinks about taking her life every single day. I can’t make a husband love his wife again after he’s left and wants a divorce. I can’t make the Cerebral Palsy go away and set these feet free to do some dancing...I just can’t! I can’t make people turn from their sin. I can’t wipe away the affects of it and redeem it either! I can’t. Oh, but here when I am at my end and I’ve said those "I can't"  words out loud in prayer--here is the place where I sense God saying, “Yes, you can’t but I can!” 
Our can’ts were always meant to be places like that, friend! Places where we rest and the pressure is off and we partner with Him—-the One who ultimately has the power over  diseases, disabilities and death. The One who can deliver, destroy and do all things! This place...this "I Can’t place" doesn’t keep me down, but it has become my place of doing the dance of dependence with the One who keeps me moving down the hallways of life. Here He whispers to me " I Know I can...I know I Can!"  I lean hard on Him and we keep moving...keep dancing down the hallways of life. 

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