3 Homes+1 Year=4ever Lessons

Since last September I have lived in three homes in three very different home structures. It’s been a hard year personally and globally. Here are some things I am learning...some are still in process and some are easy to laugh at. Read on...and message if you have any of your own tips and funny things about living and leading with people! 

1. You learn that their way isn’t wrong...and you aren’t always right.  If you put the yogurt on the beverage shelf in the fridge...is it really that big of deal to move it their way?! Or even if you have a different view on a thing can you discuss and find a way to be kind in the end?!
2. You learn to sometimes give up your preferences for the other...and then at other times own what you need and how you like things. Seriously, Do NOT put sugar in my tea.
3. You learn that anger and annoyances must be talked about even when it’s hard. Just talk about it for realzies because if you don’t you will shut down or yell loud and resent the other. Also don’t treat carelessly the things that are important to them...especially if you are living in their home.
4. Give some space, bruh! Boundaries are difficult, but every healthy friendship, relationship, leadership team and workplace’s best welcomed word would/ should be No and the first thing they should be quick to offer is a thing called, Grace. It’s ok to have limits to what you can offer the other. Take a break, be ok with being with yourself—alone! Oh and please know what  living spaces are and aren’t good for you to go without your pants :)
5. Some days you will do it all right, have all the right conversations and cook all the picture worthy meals and still you will feel not noticed or affirmed or appreciated. Your asking for what you need or want may be rejected. Ouch! and Honey, on these days cry hard,breathe deeply, find space to converse if necessary. You can move on  from the disappointment and be just fine with the God  who sees you and hears you.
6. Take time off from the grind of every day. Light a candle, rest in the crazy, open a bottle, sit at a table making sushi or eating cherries and listen. Listen...listen...speak...understand and listen! 
7. Be aware of the high stressers. Conversations around things like money, budget , inviting people over or even theological stances can make you stressed. Come to an agree to disagree stance, go sit on your porch and then come back to the stress ready to deal with it. Sometimes you may just have to part ways over some things, but humility may  also call us  to stay if we want to foster healthy living, teams or friendship
8. Stop being so serious. Cultivate spaces of kind humor, stories of quirky things and adventure. Find things to laugh at and laugh about together. 
9. Pay attention to small things done in great love. Hold the door, be mindful of noise levels when the other is sleeping. Leave notes, ask about what they love. Do the dishes.
10. Learn the beauty of diversity...learn about a God who creates with such uniqueness and yet some similarities. 
11. Create a place of saying “I was wrong” Apologize quickly and come back into harmony even if it’s awkward.
12. Forgive. This doesn’t mean you “Get over it!” and sweep the hurt away quickly. It means that you pray for the courage to let all the hurt pour out and free your heart again to love.  

It takes work. It takes humility and may the Lord have mercy on us all.

Amen!

....and my journey continues