Purposefully Placed: A Story From A Socially Distanced Table

Same hat different 'hood
@ Hildegard's Bakery

I have finally moved into my city apartment!   A month has gone by and part of me feels like a kid looking through a shop window at a desired donut on a day. Only now I  finally get to go in and enjoy it...with allllll the powdered sugar and jelly all over my face!! ☺  I am pretty sure that my eyes have been in 'childlike', wide open wonder and tired mode this entire month as I learn my neighborhood, pray about a job, continue Year 2 of Spiritual Direction,   struggle with finding access through doors and giggle with glee in my spacious home all by myself on an evening!!! Praise, God who has heard my wants!!!   I have been gifted MUCH after such a long period of waiting. Yes, I am LIIIIVVVVVING! I am growing and I am falling in love with my God in a deep way. 

The Holy Trinity
by Andrei Rublev
 means much to our little church

Oh, annnd I get to be a little closer for THIS time and contribute to my new church community in the process.  It's called West End Abbey (read about it here if you want.) Silly, COVID has us back meeting on Zoom again, but I love this piece of the Bride and all she lives in under God's gaze as I  dance in step with her.  She's a rich mix of contemplative and Spirit fuelled prayer, communion, Scripture readings/teachings and a whole wack of love and generous amounts of care for one another that's right out of the heart of Jesus...even when we can't meet in person! I'm sure you will hear more from me about the Abbey in the days to come.  

 Right now though I have an ear turned to the Voice of heaven  to show me more fully why I am here.  When I reflect on all the transition and moves over the last while---my vulnerable journey-- with lots of hard things to face,  it somehow is all making sense. God is purposeful in His placement and is ever willing to give us good gifts as we say YES to His movements of consolation in our lives.  In saying this I don't mean we get a trouble free life...I just mean a peace and a freedom that comes in loving and moving with Him even if our circumstances and surroundings challenge us or are unknown.

Here's a little story that points to this purposeful placement in the now as I wait for the not yet...

I walked in the door of my apartment block common room one of my very first weeks here.  I was told we would meet in a social distanced way, have snacks and discuss a topic during the evening. The topic was Emotions, Feelings and Love.  It was perfect! (eye rolls☺)  A  beautiful,  veiled, brown eyed and skinned woman had been sharing about her week and I learned a bit of her sudden move to Canada from an African country.  She kept saying that her move was so sudden and that she never had closure!  I felt a deep compassion for her as I in my very small way could identify with the grief and trauma of leaving and moving places rather quickly.  She said,  "I just cry and cry and cry!"  Her cousin who was across the table began saying to her rather forcefully, "You shouldn't cry...if you do  it means you're weak!"  He shamed her for expressing tears.  Ughhh! There are so many things about others’ stories and religious beliefs that I want to listen to and learn about and bring the Healer into.

    On that night  though  I came back to my suite and was heavy hearted for this woman who was shamed for her tears?!  Could it be that as I heard the story of this woman and listened to the ache in her that I saw myself?  Could it be that in the tears of a woman from Africa I felt a protective need to stand up against the voice of shame in the room that night?  Could it be that as I pray to see the thirst of Jesus in the faces around me here that it would lead me to see my own need and satisfaction in Him? It took everything in me that night not to jump in and defend that woman, but I am praying for ways to love her and befriend her.  My world is louder at least traffic wise and has more color and culture in it than before and here on this Thursday night I am unashamed to say that I am right where I am supposed to be....living among them and recognizing more and more that I am the 'them'. So find me here crying ugly cries,  laughing belly laughs, fighting through shame and loving my neighbors in a socially distanced way until my dance floor is moved elsewhere.  Why? Because the Kingdom of God is about every tribe, every tongue. It is about women and men, rich and poor, abled and disabled, healed or sufferer coming to be fed at the table of our King and you better believe that there are no veils or barriers there.  This is why I am here and with every click clack of my crutches or every beep of my scooter chair let it say "Come, Lord Jesus! and wipe away all of our tears, COVID, predijuices, pride and shame! Come Lord Jesus, and make it all new and bring us close again!

Isaiah 25:6-9 On this mountain, the Lord of Hosts will prepare for all peoples a banquet of rich food, a banquet of fine wines, of food rich and juicy, of fine strained wines. On this mountain he will remove the mourning veil covering all peoples, and the shroud enwrapping all nations, he will destroy Death for ever. The Lord will wipe away the tears from every cheek; he will take away his people's shame everywhere on earth, for the Lord has said so. That day, it will be said: See, this is our God in whom we hoped for salvation; the Lord is the one in whom we hoped. We exult and we rejoice that he has saved us.