Chaotic Peace... Heart Words & disordered pics of my 1st year!

























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The Truth (even when it hurts)

  Some years ago I had a friend who I was interested in pursuing a deeper, dating relationship with. I’m not usually so forward with my feelings, but I knew he was a guy that hit many of the characteristics I had prayed for in a spouse. So what did I do? I prayed and prayed, I talked it over with a trusted friend and finally discerned that I would need to initiate a conversation with him that would clarify if he wanted that deeper relationship too.   I was told the truth. He couldn’t date me. We then had a brief awkward conversation about how I maybe had the wrong idea and how he had lead me on emotionally. He left the conversation promising to restore his brotherhood to me and then we left. Phew. Ouch! I cried and I cried, but to this day I am glad someone was able to be truthful enough with me even if it meant I’d be hurt.  To be honest I don’t usually want to have conversations that risk my comfort and my heart so much, but I’d rather live with what is true than live in a false way.
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No More Cancer

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These are the words we heard beginning of January regarding my mom.  In mid-November we heard the opposite that she did have a cancerous tumour on her tongue. A surgery to remove it and reconstruct her tongue have left her with a positive recovery period and the gift of no more cancer. Still today I know that there are those that are battling this disease I am praying for. Treatments, medications, pain, fatigue. All of it looking pretty grim. Why does God allow these things? I don’t really know and I will not speak for Him. I do have a quote that rolls around my heart from time to time:  “ God permits what He hates to accomplish that which He loves”  Although this quote doesn’t fully answer all the questions of suffering I believe it helps us ask what God loves. What does God love? Hearts that trust Him deeply in pain, healing of His children in His time and His way, a longing for us to know Him in spite of our suffering—just as He suffered on the cross. Yes, God loves to accomplish go
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Shake Off the Dust

 “Shake off the dust of apathy and sleep” This line in a prayer I listened to this morning hits me hard. There’s so much going on in the world that even if we don’t have an active role in anything we must pay attention to it. The wars in Ukraine, Russia, Gaza and Israel come in to my mind. I’ll admit that it’s easier and more comfortable to just listen to my own life’s needs than to have an ear to the bigger picture, but now is the time. It’s time to turn down our music, rise from our church pews and hear from God on these things. Wake up, Deanna! I say to myself. Wake up Christians and pray for the true justice of God to take over! Let there be ceasefire, let there be a shaking and a stirring towards the things of God’s heart. I mean I can’t force you to turn down the music and listen. I can’t force you or anyone to stop fighting, but I can shake the dust off my own heart. I believe as Christians we are called to this. Wake up, church and let’s stand for godly justice. It rolls like t
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