Asking & Assumptions
The other day a dear friend and mentor of mine asked me to pray for her. My housemate asked me to help her paint our sun porch. A lady asked me if she could help me carry my load in my arms. My course instructor asked me to share at a meeting. My boss asked me to stay for a meeting that involved dreaming about future programs/ possibilities. A friend that I was saying goodbye to asked if she could hug me...
Notice a theme here?! I have been thinking and contemplating the power of asking people things and the freedom it gives them when they feel asked instead of pressured, manipulated or controlled. Asking is an invitation. It is an open-handedness and letting the other choose to say "Yes," "No." or even a "Let me get back to you on that" There is some thing about the power of an ask that can give us life and show us the heart of Christ. Yet there is something about the power of assumptions and control that can make us feel enslaved, voiceless and powerless.
Lately I have been falling in love again with the Gospel Stories about Jesus asking questions. The stories that speak of moments when He said, "Do you want to get well?" or "What do you want me to do for You? are some of the most precious to me this year as I have sat there. Why? Because it reminds me that my God is never a controlling, pressuring, manipulative Savior. I hear His heart being one of compassion, gentleness and holy honor when I read Scripture. He waited for consent, never guilted ...and just always said "COME!"
When I think about this I think about times when I have made assumptions before asking people things. I have assumed that I knew what people wanted/ needed prayer for, that married people never get as lonely as single people do, and even that someone with the most gentle voice and heart could NEVER have metal music on their playlist. 😊 I have felt the cut to my ego and pride as I assumed that able bodied women never have insecurities about their body, jobs or future. I laugh and remember what "they" say about what happens to those who ASSume and know I need grace. The truth of it all is that all humans make assumptions, but what if we asked instead? What if we asked and gave people back their ownership of how they were touched, helped, prayed for and supported. What if we had church spaces where the people of God listened to God's Voice and joined Him in praying and leading people spiritually? What if our view of God changed from a power hungry slave driver to a Powerful Holy King who is gentle and lowly in heart and calls us friends. What if the way we carried ourselves and lived our lives was more of an invitation than an obligation to Jesus?
I think then we would feel freedom instead of control. We would feel empowered rather than powerless. We would be learn to be receivers instead of just givers. We would be like HIM.
Here are some things for you and me to practice
Notice a theme here?! I have been thinking and contemplating the power of asking people things and the freedom it gives them when they feel asked instead of pressured, manipulated or controlled. Asking is an invitation. It is an open-handedness and letting the other choose to say "Yes," "No." or even a "Let me get back to you on that" There is some thing about the power of an ask that can give us life and show us the heart of Christ. Yet there is something about the power of assumptions and control that can make us feel enslaved, voiceless and powerless.
Lately I have been falling in love again with the Gospel Stories about Jesus asking questions. The stories that speak of moments when He said, "Do you want to get well?" or "What do you want me to do for You? are some of the most precious to me this year as I have sat there. Why? Because it reminds me that my God is never a controlling, pressuring, manipulative Savior. I hear His heart being one of compassion, gentleness and holy honor when I read Scripture. He waited for consent, never guilted ...and just always said "COME!"
When I think about this I think about times when I have made assumptions before asking people things. I have assumed that I knew what people wanted/ needed prayer for, that married people never get as lonely as single people do, and even that someone with the most gentle voice and heart could NEVER have metal music on their playlist. 😊 I have felt the cut to my ego and pride as I assumed that able bodied women never have insecurities about their body, jobs or future. I laugh and remember what "they" say about what happens to those who ASSume and know I need grace. The truth of it all is that all humans make assumptions, but what if we asked instead? What if we asked and gave people back their ownership of how they were touched, helped, prayed for and supported. What if we had church spaces where the people of God listened to God's Voice and joined Him in praying and leading people spiritually? What if our view of God changed from a power hungry slave driver to a Powerful Holy King who is gentle and lowly in heart and calls us friends. What if the way we carried ourselves and lived our lives was more of an invitation than an obligation to Jesus?
I think then we would feel freedom instead of control. We would feel empowered rather than powerless. We would be learn to be receivers instead of just givers. We would be like HIM.
Here are some things for you and me to practice
- Next time you want to just dive in and help a person with a disability maybe ask what is the best way to help.
- Next time you are in a prayer setting...stop and wait for God to lead you in how to pray instead of praying what you see as a need
- Next time you assume someone's story based on their appearance and relationship status take a step back, maybe listen to their story and find that even in their differences they need the same things as you.
- Learn how to phrase questions and respond in conversation in a non-invasive, non threatening way.
- Don't talk like you know when you really don't know.
- Annd above all else pray for GRACE and courage to ASK...because it can be a powerful healing thing!
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