Wounded Bride: Trauma at Church

 I woke up in the night with a picture of a bride walking her aisle wounded. Her white dress ruined by a bloody wound that needed tending to.  She was visibly upset, but wasn't making a lot of noise actually.  You see,  her wound was not very visible from a distance.  It was only as you got close that you could see little drops of blood on her back from a sword that cut her deeply.  She had tried to cover it up with layers of cloth, but it was still bleeding through to her beautiful fairy tale gown. There were some  that saw the blood and asked "What can I do to help?" There were some that stayed at a distance thinking all was well and good.  Some began in anxious fear running for band aids, peroxides and ointments that would take care of  the surface of the wound, but failed to go deep. Some even thought it good to take more swords and cut around the wound intending to see it clearer, but instead caused more damage. There even were people who in good concern were praying bold healing prayers,but forgot to do so with gentleness & compassion.

I share with you this picture tonight with a heart that cries out for humility and mercy.  These past few weeks some old wounds of experiencing trauma at church and with church leaders came up. The Lord has dealt with me & conversations that needed to happen happened and tonight I harbor no anger to the ones involved when these wounds surfaced.   The truth?! I have parts of my personal history as well as my family history that involve being traumatized by people we thought to be "spiritual" and church leaders.  Tonight I will not go into detail about it, but I will speak generally of our sin as the Bride of Christ in "killing with Truth," in abusing power as men and women when those who are vulnerable are in our care and  I'll also speak about providing a whole person way of caring and praying for people IN CHURCH. Why?! Because I'm tired of shame and being embarrassed. I'm tired of being "put on display" I'm tired of not being shown dignity...and even though the Lord has shown me great purpose in my vulnerability and disability I'm tired of praying for a miracle without giving space to see Him as the Savior who sustains me in my Suffering....which IS an often overlooked miracle.

I long for the Bride of Christ to have places that she meets that have a balanced view of the God of Miracles and the God of Suffering.  I long for us to stand and know Him in the power of the resurrection and in  the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings. To know His glory in jars of clay and in whole and dancing bodies.

So how can we do this...here's a few thoughts:

• ASK :The power of asking is an empowering restorative thing.  Jesus did it in praying for the blind man. He said, "What do you want me to do?" I imagine his tone not pressuring, not assuming just giving this man his humanity back.  I wonder what church would look like if we asked people what they needed prayer for...or if we could pray for them?
• SPEAK GENTLY: I recognize that many prayers of the apostles seem bold.  There is room in my theology for that and please kindly remember that when dealing with people who have been traumatized our loud voice may cause them fear and panic.  Boldness does not equal loudness.  We can pray bold prayers without sounding angry or harsh.
• AFFIRM: People who have gone through great trauma often fight a voice of accusation and discouragement.  The more we ask God to give us an encouraging word or something that He sees in them that's good the better.  We would do well to speak life often in our churches instead of always cursing the evil.
• NO SHAME OR BLAME: Ughh, I hate being pointed out or called out!  People who already have a physical impairment already feel an inner shame because of it so to be singled out leads to embarrassment and feeling like they never measure up. Oh and if we could I hope the words "What sin have you committed?" or "You don't have enough faith!" NEVER  come from our lips. 
• NO IS OK: For a vulnerable one to even open themselves up publicly is a lot.  If we are praying for someone and they say "It's enough " or "No" when you ask them to pray just let it be.  Don't try to wrestle them into it or make them feel like they are less than because of it.  Let their No mean NO.
• GIVE GRACE: *Breathe*We will be wounded in church! It is full of sinful humans all at different places in our knowledge and understanding.  When we are hurt I pray we find courage to acknowledge our wrong, say when we have felt wronged and forgive one another.  

May we be a Body...may we be a Bride that cares and cures wounds in each other bringing us into holiness (wholeness) on that day we see Him.  Let us be a beautiful Bride!  Let us hold each other gently, let us walk in love, let us find unity in our differences and honor each other. Let us carry each other to Jesus in our broken physical, emotional, & spiritual parts.  Let us long for the day when all will be made new and no tears or trauma or taunt of the Devil wreck us ever again!